Recently I was asked to do a reading at a friend’s wedding. Like most people, I find this to be both flattering and nerve-racking at the same time. I’ve done my fair share of public speaking, therefore I can’t say I was terribly nervous about this, but I know many people would be. However, I think even the most seasoned public speaking veterans all get those jittery butterflies as the moment approaches, and I am no exception.
There were two readings. A friend of mine happened to be doing the first reading, and I was doing the second. I felt pretty good about mine; I had rehearsed it a little the night before at the rehearsal mass, and was familiar enough with it to feel rather comfortable.
But as I sat there and watched my friend take that slow, lonely, quiet walk up to the altar, the butterflies began to stir. Then I noticed a slight raise in my heart rate and that my skin had joined in with a slight tingle, and then my breath shortened ever so slightly. Fear can be sneaky, and often shows up when you least expect it.
Those of you who have done any public speaking I’m sure are very familiar with this set of sensations. Perhaps you are even beginning to feel them now just reading this and imagining yourself being up next to read.
The Critical Moment.
When fear decides it’s time to pay you a visit, it’s in the early stages where you need to send it packing. If fear finds you to be a nice dwelling place, it takes over and then it’s “Katie bar the door”. Hands shake, breathing quickens, face gets red, temperature rises, and then fears second cousin “sheer panic” licks her chops just waiting for a shot at you.
So, what do you do at this critical moment?
Take a look at it. Huh? Yes. Go inside and look at it, or simply look for it. Ask yourself…Where is it? What is it? Try and find it inside, and identify it. Does it have a color or a shape? Begin to describe it to yourself as though you were telling someone what you were finding. Better yet, make it interview style. (If you’re really serious about this, make it Larry King, Barbara Walters, or your nosy Mother-In-Law)
Here’s how my conversation might have sounded.
Rich: I’m starting to feel some fear.
Larry King: What’s that?
Rich: Well, it’s hard to describe. Its kind of a tightness.
Larry King: Where?
Rich: In my chest.
Larry King: Where in your chest?
Rich: Sort of in the front.
Larry King: I need to know exactly where.
Rich: Well, sort of here in the middle. Wait, it seemed to move down some, actually, maybe more towards my back…
Larry King: Maybe it’s the suspenders?
Rich: Huh?
Larry King: Ok, let’s forget where. Tell me what it looks like?
Rich: Hmm…not sure. Maybe grayish?
Larry King: Gray, ok. And does it have a shape?
Rich: Sort of round-ish, maybe. Maybe not gray….
Ok, so the ratings would not be too good for that show, but I hope you get the point. All of this can take place in a matter of seconds, and you’ll find that as you are looking for it, you can’t find it, and it begins to weaken. You’ve taken your mind off of being afraid, and you are also exposing fear as being, well, nothing.
Making Friends.
After you look for it, and it’s time to go do your speech, presentation, reading, or bungee jump, just welcome the fear. Tell it that it’s more than welcome to join you, and you’re glad it showed up. Compliment it. Say something like, “hey, I like how you make my skin tingle a little, and the fact that you really bring me into the present. No day dreaming with you around!”
Yes, I know this seems a little crazy, especially when you see it in writing like this. But seriously. Are you going to sit there and tell me you don’t have conversations going on inside your head ALL day long anyhow? Gosh, I hope it’s not just me.
By the time it was my turn, I walked up there to do my reading feeling fine, and almost glad that my old friend fear came to join me.
Wishing you all the best,
Rich…
Myster Money Mystery Series….
Q: Dear Myster Money. Why is the symbol Rx used to represent pharmacies or prescriptions?
MM: Ah, yes. Wonderful question my dearest. And a rather strange answer if I must admit. You see, in the olden days many people used to look into the night sky for answers. And much like they would create gods with different roles, they would do the same for planets. For health and healing, this planet was Jupiter. If you look at the symbol for the planet Jupiter, you will see the resemblance to the Rx. (Though it looks more like a 24 if you ask me). Now off to bed you go.
-MM
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